I found in Cornwall if they know there's a relative who can look after the person then they let you get on with it and they are very one sided in that so you have to think about how it would be for you to care for him forever until the inevitable happens and how you would feel and then just stand your ground and say there's no way you can cope anymore as you feel as if you will have a breakdown. It's only then they seem to take notice. As Starry has said it's different all over the country so I can only speak as I found for Cornwall, and others I've spoken to since had said if only they'd been warned and refused to have their relative home.

In actual fact you are under no obligation at all to accept a relative back that has had to go into hospital or care, none whatsoever. A little known fact that had I known at the time I would never have had my brother here to look after him in the first place and would have stuck out for the care package. But I didnt know and I felt dreadful doing what I had to do to him to get him into a care home. Infact, I still feel so guilty about it, but I know if I'd given in and kept him here I'd have been no good to him as I would have been a wreck. 

It shouldnt be like this for people, the person they love should be taken into care and there should be more support for the relatives, because they too need help in these situations. They don't want to be bullied into taking a relative back into their home and made to feel guilty if they refuse. But that's how it is, so being forewarned is all we can do for others. Once my brother went into the nursing home I got no support at all, not that I had any before when he was here or when he was in his own home. 

They way they try to get out of it is offering a place not in your own town, Nigel had to go to Lostwithiel, but there was the opportunity that he could be transferred to Bodmin when a place became available, but sadly he didnt live that long. 

Carol's also right too, as hard as it may feel, you have to think of your own health and wellbeing, something that's not easy when you've been caring for someone else for so long and putting your own needs after theirs. But hubby's condition is only going to get worse as you know and thats going to take it's toll on you if he's at home. xxxx 

Good morning ladies, another dry day thank goodness. Got a couple of masks to make today for an order going to Oregon, USA. I've sent quite a few to the States.  Then a couple more to make and I can put the new summer ones on the website. I'm a bit behind as I had a lot of other work to do at the w/end which held me up. 

Had a terrible night last night, went to be at 11, early for me, woke up at 2.30am. Dozed off and woke up again at 4am. Then couldnt get back to sleep properly, dozing in and out of sleep. My thoughts were all muddled too, couldn't seem to think straight it was a bit scarey to be honest. But the thoughts have cleared this morning but I feel all wobbly and light headed, I'm putting the wobbly down to lack of sleep though. Hopefully it'll wear off during the day.

Lily seems a bit better today, she's hardly eaten anything all w/end which isn't a bad thing at least she's not got the squits now. She did eat her breakfast this morning, but I only gave her a tiny amount. She looks bright enough in herself. It's hard to tell with a cat, moreso than a dog. Cat's hide things so well. 

Good luck today with the inspection Diane. They'll be doing a risk assessment probably. They'll suggest all sorts of things to make it suitable, when it really won't be. Remember you dont want respite, what you want is not having him back in the house because you can't cope anymore. They have beds in care homes and nursing homes, they just tell you they don't. They have to try really hard to avoid finding him a place and palming off the responsibility onto you. You could have a word with your son before they arrive and get him to confirm what a drain it is on you and how it affects your physical and mental health. 

Enjoy your day everyone. 

Good Morning, a sunny day here and quite mild.  Gordon had a hospital appointment, so we got to go out this morning. I was amazed at how quiet it was on the road. Sally, my shopping lady, said they were all in the supermarkets. ASDA was packed, as was TESCO.
 

Good morning ladies, I didnt get time to come on here yesterday as I had to get those masks done to be collected by the postie today, they're off the the States. I'll be uploading the pics of the summer designs to the shop today Carol so will send a pm when they're up there.

Another nice dry day here, the mower's been cutting the grass for the last few days so it's looking nice and green and short, and flat, only when you walk on it you realise its like the surface of the moon. lol Not sure when the men are coming to start the work on the soakaways and drainage trenches, it's supposed to be soon and they will send either a text or email letting me know the exact date. 

Felt quite weird the last couple of days, fuzzy light headed, following on from the other night when it started. So have been drinking extra water incase I'm not drinking enough, can't think what it can be but hope it goes soon. 

Well done on painting the wall Starry, you'll soon be sitting out on that patio in the summer. Carol isn't that just typical, I was going to do some washing the other day and got it loaded in the machine but then the weather changed, then no sooner had it gone in the drier the bloomin sun came out. 

Diane, how did you get on yesterday? I hope it was a good outcome for you.  

Oh, Bless you, Diane. It looks like you got away with bruises and a thorough shaking up. I suggest that you ring social services and tell them you've had a very bad fall, can barely move, and are in too much pain to attend their meeting. It might make them realise that you've got problems of your own and that your situation has got worse.

Starry, the seagulls used to wake me up at the caravan, especially when they landed on the caravan roof.

Hazel, I'll have a look at the masks and choose mine. I'll pm you about Gordon's. I hope you're feeling better today. 
 

Last edited by Annie (Wed Mar 17 11:52 am)